Minority Report - The Remix
by Snowling
Summary: My spin on Minority Report and some of the audience's views. Don't be insulted if you're a die-hard fan of the book/movie, because I did enjoy the movie and I think that it's great but ...!! There just wasn't enough Colin in it!
1. Tom meets Colin

Title: Minority Report - The Remix  
  
Disclaimer: It's kinda obvious that I don't own any of the original characters . they came from the wonderful Phillip K. Dick . or Steven Spielberg.  
  
A/N: Due to the severe lack of Minority Report fics, I've decided to write my own, following the excellent example of Laura Fones who wrote "The Harrowing Tale of the Sexy Irish Beast, the Vaguely Homosexual Police Officer, and the Fight to Save the Ozone" [which you must go and read]. My remixed version of Minority Report will mainly be a sort of parody/spoof [cause I enjoy writing funny stuff more]. So, with this fic, I think that a separate section should be made for Minority Report, or else this will have to go under Miscellaneous Movies .  
  
And don't get me wrong - I really love Minority Report, I think it's a good movie, I just feel like making fun of it.  
  
EDIT: This is the second version of this chapter, I've just changed the layout so hopefully it's easier to read.  
  
..............................................  
  
The lights dim. It is the moment that everyone has been waiting for . the actual movie, not the stupid trailers or commercials.  
  
But wait. There is a notice to turn your cell phone off.  
  
The movie starts.  
  
SHOTS OF MURKY SCENES AND PEOPLE  
  
AUDIENCE:: What the -?!  
  
Someone's CELL PHONE rings.  
  
RANDOM PERSON:: Hello? Yeah, I'm watching Minority Report -  
  
AUDIENCE:: Shut up!!  
  
RANDOM PERSON:: Sorry.  
  
INT. OF A NICE BIG BUILDING. THE YEAR IS 2054.  
  
TOM:: Don't I look damn sexy, with the camera focusing on my butt all the way through?  
  
AUDIENCE:: No. Get on with the show, I'm running out of popcorn.  
  
TOM:: Has random conversation with equally random woman that could be pregnant or just really fat  
  
RANDOM FAT/PREGNANT WOMAN:: So what about Nicole?  
  
TOM:: Who?  
  
RANDOM FAT/PREGNANT WOMAN:: Wow, that was fast.  
  
AUDIENCE:: Does this have anything to do with Minority Report?!?!  
  
TOM:: No.  
  
AUDIENCE:: Huh? He heard us?  
  
TOM:: No, I'm not gay.  
  
QUEER GUY:: Dammit!!  
  
QUEER GUY WALKS OUT OF THEATRE  
  
INT. SHOT OF A DIFFERENT ROOM WITH SOMEONE CALLED JED, EATING SOMETHING.  
  
JED:: We have an incoming Tom. I mean, John.  
  
TOM. OR MAYBE IT'S JOHN:: What the hell is that supposed to mean?!  
  
CUT TO INT. TEMPLE  
  
AGATHA:: Murder . blub blub, choke, gag, drown.  
  
WALLY:: Someone is gonna get killed in about 10 minutes!!  
  
AGATHA:: And that's not me, cause somehow, even though I'm meant to be sleeping, I never drown in this funky swimming pool.  
  
AUDIENCE:: Geebus, can we wait that long?  
  
TOM:: Did you give Wally his medication?  
  
JED:: Oops.  
  
TOM:: Okay, where are the balls?  
  
JED:: Oh, those balls. I was playing pool with them.  
  
TOM:: Never mind, let's just crank up the music.  
  
CLASSICAL MUSIC BEGINS AS TOM WEARS FUNKY GLOVES AND WAVES HIS ARMS MADLY.  
  
TOM FANGIRL:: Wow, he's so deep and intelligent.  
  
AUDIENCE:: That's what he wants you to think. And it's working.  
  
TOM:: Okay, so we have two men, and a woman - and oh my god, someone gets murdered!!  
  
AUDIENCE:: Is there someone remotely intelligent in this movie?!  
  
COLIN:: Why, hello there.  
  
TOM FANGIRLS:: Whoa! To think, I came here to see Tom, and now I've discovered sexy Colin!  
  
COLIN:: Yes, I am rather sexy aren't I?  
  
JED:: Stop drooling Tom. Get on with the waving of your arms.  
  
TOM:: Sorry.  
  
COLIN:: Gum?  
  
CONVERTED COLIN FANGIRL:: Yes please.  
  
TOM:: No, I'm on a diet.  
  
COLIN:: No wonder you're so short.  
  
TOM:: I'm 5"6 actually, which isn't that short so stop insulting my height.  
  
COLIN:: Okay. Shorty.  
  
TOM:: What was that?!  
  
JED:: Dude, time horizon is 3 minutes!! Hurry up!!  
  
TOM:: Oh, it's a lost case, we don't even know where they live.  
  
JED:: Oh. Okay.  
  
COLIN CHEWS GUM NOISILY. JED JUGGLES WITH THE "MISSING" BALLS.  
  
  
  
3 MINUTES LATER CUT TO INT. OF UNKNOWN HOUSE  
  
HOWARD MARKS:: Die bitch die!  
  
SARA AND LOVER:: Nooooooo!! Where are the pre-crime cops?!?!  
  
HOWARD MARKS:: Oh my god I killed someone. I'm going to turn myself in.  
  
AUDIENCE:: Dude, this movie sucks.  
  
STEVEN SPIELBERG WAVING HIS OSCAR:: Well my buddy here doesn't think so.  
  
AUDIENCE:: Oooookay.  
  
CUT TO INT. OF PRE-CRIME BUILDING  
  
FLETCHER:: So these balls are really special, cause they're so shiny and the reason why they're so special is because they have these funny lines all over them, and some random writing. Now, the red are the victim and the brown is the killer . or is that the other way round?  
  
COLIN:: Do you possess more than two brain cells?  
  
FLETCHER:: Let me count .  
  
COLIN:: So yes, isn't it a fundamental paradox if you stop the future?  
  
JED/FLETCHER:: ???  
  
TOM:: No.  
  
COLIN:: You actually understood what I said?  
  
FLETCHER THROWS BALL TO TOM, WHICH HE SOMEHOW CATCHES. TOM THROWS IT TO COLIN.  
  
COLIN:: You're meant to roll it along the screen you idiot.  
  
TOM:: I think I got the message through though - you caught the ball. Why?  
  
COLIN:: If I didn't it would have hit me on the head and some lucky fangirl would have to resuscitate me.  
  
COLIN FANGIRL:: Damn.  
  
TOM:: But no - you caught it. The fact that you changed the future doesn't mean it wasn't going to happen.  
  
COLIN:: That's deep man.  
  
TOM:: Well, I do try.  
  
COLIN:: Not hard enough though.  
  
TOM:: Damn  
  
AUDIENCE:: Yawn  
  
COLIN:: Sorry. So anyway, can I go and say hi to them?  
  
TOM:: Who the audience? No way buddy, we like to keep the actors and audience separate except when there's a premiere -  
  
COLIN:: No, I mean the pre-cogs down there.  
  
COLIN WAVES AT AGATHA WHO WAVES BACK.  
  
TOM:: Oh. Okay. Sure.  
  
COLIN:: Don't you need to see my warrant?  
  
TOM:: It's just a piece of paper. C'mon, follow me.  
  
AUDIENCE:: Is this the start of a beautiful relationship?  
  
COLIN:: You wish.  
  
..............................................  
  
A/N: So, do your part for society and click the purple button down there. I'll still carry on writing anyway, cause I'm finding this kinda fun actually. 


	2. Agatha scares Tom

Title: Minority Report - The Remix  
  
Disclaimer: It's kinda obvious that I don't own any of the original characters . they came from the wonderful Phillip K. Dick . or Steven Spielberg.  
  
A/N: Okay, so I'm changing the layout of this fic again, but I'm too lazy to change the layout of the other chapter ... sorry! Anyhow, I, being a Colin fangirl, have decided to give Colin a larger role in this fic, due mainly to the fact that he didn't really appear very much in the movie and that he didn't even appear on the poster [grrr!]  
  
.........................................  
  
INT. OF TEMPLE  
  
WALLY:: *freaks out totally* Okay, don't touch me, don't touch me!!  
  
AUDIENCE: What is his problem?!  
  
COLIN:: Why would I even want to?  
  
TOM:: Calm down Wally, and just answer his questions.  
  
WALLY:: *deep breaths* Okay ...  
  
TOM:: That's good, just keep breathing ...  
  
COLIN:: So how does all this work?  
  
WALLY:: Ssshh!!!! They're sleeping?  
  
COLIN:: Sorry * sexy whisper* how does all this work?  
  
WALLY:: *loudly* Well, I don't know myself, but I'm guessing that we stick the pre-cogs in this pool so that they're trapped for eternity, and we glue these funny things to their head so that we see what they see in their twisted little minds.  
  
AUDIENCE:: Riiiiiiight ...  
  
COLIN:: *blinks* That makes everything crystal clear to me.  
  
WALLY:: Yes, but we have to keep the levels of serotin steady or else they'll slip into too deep a sleep. You see, they only see murders cause it's the most destructive force to the human mind, and only when they're dreaming.  
  
COLIN:: Okay, no need for so much information.  
  
TOM:: It's better not to think of them as humans ... more like those inflatable things you find on swimming pools.  
  
JED:: *helpfully* Or robots.  
  
COLIN:: No, they're much more than that. *winks at Agatha, who winks back*  
  
AUDIENCE:: *blink*  
  
TOM:: You two, go back to work.  
  
JED:: *puzzled* But uh, we didn't say anything.  
  
AUDIENCE:: I think somebody forgot their lines ...  
  
TOM:: Uh ... *sweatdrop*  
  
COLIN:: *saves the day* Sorry. You know, as I'm the baddie and you're the hero, we have a connection.  
  
TOM:: We both wear a lot of black?  
  
COLIN:: No, we've both lost loved ones.  
  
TOM:: Yeah, I miss Nicole ...  
  
COLIN:: *whisper* I meant your kid, Sean ...  
  
TOM:: Oh cut the very cute act Colin, and tell me, what are you looking for?  
  
COLIN:: Flaws.  
  
TOM:: There aren't any. I think.  
  
COLIN:: Well, there must be. Nothing's perfect Tom ... well, except for me. *strolls off*  
  
WALLY:: *leaps away*  
  
AUDIENCE:: Uh-oh.  
  
TOM:: *hands in pockets* Wow, I've never been in here alone before. *hums a merry little tune and wanders a little too close to the pool*  
  
AUDIENCE:: Dammit Tom, get away from the pool!!  
  
TOM FANGIRL:: You can't swim! It's too deep for you!  
  
AGATHA:: *suddenly grabs Tom*  
  
AUDIENCE:: ARGH!!  
  
AGATHA:: Do ... you ... see ...?  
  
TOM:: Yeah, you haven't got any eyebrows!  
  
AGATHA:: *grabs Tom's head and tilts it upwards* Try looking up there.  
  
TOM:: Oooh, funny lady drowning...  
  
AGATHA:: Now go and find out more ... *slips on her goggles and oxygen mask, and falls back into the pool*  
  
WALLY:: *goes ballistic* What are you doing Tom?! Are you insane?! Agatha's mine, you're not supposed to touch her!  
  
COLIN:: *from the window above* Does anyone else think that Wally is obsessed with Agatha?  
  
AUDIENCE:: Yes.  
  
TOM:: Hmm, I must go and find out more. *waddles off*  
  
  
  
INT. OF A VERY SPOOKY PLACE WITH A REALLY SCARY GUY PLAYING THE ORGAN.  
  
TOM:: Hi there buddy. I need to get some very important top-secret information from our databases, which will almost definitely not be there and I will be tracked down by the wonderful Colin.  
  
REALLY SCARY GUY:: *blinks* Do you even want to bother looking?  
  
TOM:: Oh yeah, what the heck.  
  
REALLY SCARY GUY:: For that, we go for a riiiiiiiiiide!!  
  
RANDOM FROZEN BODIES START FLOATING UP, IN A BIZARRE BUT RARE AND BEAUTIFUL SCENE.  
  
COLIN:: Hi.  
  
REALLY SCARY GUY:: *really scared* aRgH!!  
  
COLIN:: Did you just scream in alternate caps?  
  
AUDIENCE:: ???  
  
REALLY SCARY GUY:: Yes, I believe I did. Where did you come from?!  
  
COLIN:: The author of this fanfic wanted more of me. So here I am.  
  
TOM:: I don't understand ... we are actors ... in a movie ... audience watching ... yet someone is typing everything I say ... brain overload ...  
  
THE HEAD OF A NEARBY "PRISONER" EXPLODES.  
  
AUDIENCE:: WHOA!!  
  
COLIN:: Whoa. Did you do that?  
  
TOM:: *shocked yet rather pleased* Yes, I do believe I did.  
  
REALLY SCARY GUY:: Sorry pal, the stuff you wanted has been erased.  
  
TOM:: Dang.  
  
COLIN:: What stuff?  
  
TOM:: I'm not saying.  
  
COLIN:: Pleeeeeeeease ... pretty pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease ... *puppy dog look*  
  
COLIN FANGIRL:: *drool*  
  
TOM:: Don't try that look with me pal.  
  
COLIN:: It was worth a try.  
  
TOM:: So now I'm going have to beat the information out of Agatha.  
  
COLIN:: Geez, you don't need to beat it out of her ...  
  
TOM:: *pissed off* Yeah, you're a real ladies man, aren't ya? *goes to leave*  
  
COLIN:: Well ... *smug look*  
  
REALLY SCARY GUY:: Be careful. You dig up the past, all you get is dirty.  
  
COLIN:: Shouldn't that be dirt?  
  
REALLY SCARY GUY:: Oh. Yeah. Dirt. No. Wait.  
  
TOM + COLIN:: *have already left*  
  
REALLY SCARY GUY:: Oh well, at least I have my organ. *plays really badly*  
  
AUDIENCE:: Wow, that scene was so tense, none of us said anything.  
  
INT. OF LAMAR'S OFFICE  
  
TOM:: So, I discovered this weird thing, that half our databases have been erased! Dontcha think that's funny?  
  
LAMAR:: Ooooookay ... so what have you got there? *pointing to a "CD" that Tom is holding, which is actually something that looks like a piece of glass*  
  
TOM:: Oh, this is the twins' record of some random woman called Anne Lively. How weird, having an adjective as your surname.  
  
LAMAR:: Not as weird as having a verb as your surname.  
  
AUDIENCE:: Gosh, that was clever. I bet Tom will take a while to figure that out.  
  
TOM:: ???  
  
LAMAR:: So, Anne Lively eh? *ponders*  
  
AUDIENCE:: Oooh, something's up ...  
  
TOM:: So I'm just gonna go now. Byees.  
  
AUDIENCE:: Is the real plot actually starting soon? 


	3. Tom runs away

Title: Minority Report - The Remix  
  
Disclaimer: It's kinda obvious that I don't own any of the original characters ... they came from the wonderful Phillip K. Dick ... or Steven Spielberg.  
  
A/N: Sorry about the Tom "I'm gay" jokes, but trust me, I'm not doing them on purpose! If you think there are any homosexual jokes, then you're reading a little too deep into the fic! No offence intended though. And ohmigod, The Phantom, how dare you say Colin looks pasty?!?! *sets her couch on fire* Oops, hehe.  
  
.........................................  
  
INT. OF PRE-CRIME BUILDING. ANOTHER DAY HAS ARRIVED.  
  
TOM:: Hey, did we just miss out a scene with me, that shed important light on my past?  
  
STEVEN SPIELBERG:: Hmm, yes, but that was due to the author cutting it out or else this fanfic would be too long and anyway, everyone knows that your son got lost in a swimming pool and it's all your fault.  
  
AUDIENCE:: Thanks for the information. That really is so important ... not.  
  
TOM:: *perky* So anyway, what's up today?  
  
JED:: Nothing much.  
  
TOM:: Geez, sometimes this job gets so boring, I wish that someone would just go and kill someone.  
  
JED:: ???  
  
AUDIENCE:: Ooh.  
  
  
  
INT. OF TOM'S APARTMENT.  
  
AUDIENCE:: Wow, it sure is dark in there.  
  
COLIN:: *turns on the light* That help?  
  
AUDIENCE:: Yes.  
  
COLIN FANGIRL/S:: Wow, he looks so sexy in that suit.  
  
COLIN:: *wanders around and picks up something random that is supposed to be some kind of illegal drug* Bingo!  
  
COLIN FANGIRL/S:: Wow, he sounds so sexy when he says that.  
  
AUDIENCE:: Geez, we know he's sexy, stop drilling it into our heads!!  
  
COLIN:: *watches video of Sean* Daddy's in a lot of trouble Sean ...  
  
COLIN FANGIRL/S:: Wow, he sounds so ...  
  
COLIN:: Sexy, I know. It's a curse I tell you.  
  
LEGOLAS/ORLANDO BLOOM:: Tell me about it.  
  
  
  
INT. OF PRE-CRIME BUILDING  
  
LAMAR:: So if that Colin comes snooping around, tell me about it. Okay? I don't like him.  
  
COLIN FANGIRL/S:: I don't like that old man.  
  
TOM:: That makes just you and me buddy.  
  
COLIN FANGIRL/S:: ......  
  
LAMAR:: Keep an eye on him, okay?  
  
TOM:: Okay. *laughs for no apparent reason*  
  
AUDIENCE:: Oh, that's a hint about something that's gonna happen later on in the movie. Real subtle.  
  
TOM:: Okay Jed, let's crank up the music and get the show on the road!  
  
JED:: *throws Tom the balls*  
  
TOM:: *reads his name and gasps*  
  
AUDIENCE:: Oh, now this is getting real good ...  
  
TOM:: Jed, go get me some food.  
  
JED:: Er ... okay. I thought you were on a diet though ...  
  
TOM:: Yeah, it's the "Eat as Much as You Can" diet.  
  
JED:: Okay. Wow, that sounds like a cool diet, I'm gonna go on that. *leaves*  
  
TOM:: *watches himself on the screen and practically passes out* Noooooo!!  
  
WALLY:: *from inside temple* I've always liked you Chief ...  
  
TOM:: *stands up* What was that? Can't hear you.  
  
WALLY:: *louder* I've always liked you Chief, so I'm gonna give you two minutes before I hit the alarm!!  
  
TOM:: Can't you give me more time? No? Okay, I'm going.  
  
  
  
INT. OF ELEVATOR  
  
TOM:: Must get out!  
  
COLIN:: Hi.  
  
TOM:: aRgH!!  
  
COLIN:: Do I just have this thing about me that makes everyone scream in alternate caps?  
  
TOM:: I don't like you ... you're all pasty!  
  
COLIN:: No, you are. You look very scared Tom ...  
  
TOM:: Eep.  
  
COLIN:: You're in a lot of trouble Tom. I found these at your place. *shakes the random drugs* It'll cost you six months in jail probably ...  
  
TOM:: *gets his gun out and points it at Colin, pushing him to the wall* You're stealing my limelight!  
  
COLIN:: Put the gun down Tom. I don't exactly hear a red ball.  
  
TOM:: How can you hear a ball?  
  
COLIN:: I don't know, that's what the script says. *smirks*  
  
COLIN FANGIRL:: I would give anything to be Tom right now ...  
  
THE ALARM GOES OFF.  
  
COLIN:: *shocked look on face ... [god, I love that look on his face!!!]*  
  
TOM:: *runs away but crashes into elevator doors*  
  
COLIN:: Might help if you let the doors open first.  
  
TOM:: *rubs his head* Now you tell me. *doors open, he runs away*  
  
AUDIENCE:: Phew. That was mighty close.  
  
COLIN FANGIRL:: So I'm guessing that Colin is the bad guy?  
  
AUDIENCE:: Yes.  
  
COLIN FANGIRL:: Oh, he's such a bad boy!!  
  
TOM:: What about me? I'm on the run here!!  
  
AUDIENCE:: Try taking the subway.  
  
TOM:: Okay. 


	4. Tom keeps on running

Title: Minority Report - The Remix  
  
Disclaimer: It's kinda obvious that I don't own any of the original characters ... they came from the wonderful Phillip K. Dick ... or Steven Spielberg.  
  
A/N: Sorry about the delay with this chapter, school started. [Argh!! *runs around screaming like a headless chicken* I love the elevator scene, and hmm, I love the chase scene too ... *drools* And The Phantom, I am aware that Tom stole your line [bad Tom bad!] but that was in ode to you.  
  
.........................................  
  
INT. OF SUBWAY.  
  
TOM:: *wanders past loads of billboard type things which keep saying "Hello John Anderton!" Hehe, I'm safe, my name isn't John Anderton ...  
  
STEVEN SPIELBERG:: *coughs and waves script in front of Tom's face* Actually it is. I'm only referring to you as Tom so that we don't confuse any of the fic readers out there.  
  
TOM:: Okay. *carries on walking*  
  
AUDIENCE:: Bad move.  
  
COLIN FANGIRL:: So take it that Colin isn't the main role?  
  
AUTHOR OF FIC:: Not if I have anything to do with it, hehe.  
  
TOM:: *boards the subway*  
  
AUDIENCE:: Baaaaaaaad move. They're gonna getcha Tom.  
  
A GUY WHO LOOKS SUSPICOUSLY LIKE COLIN FARRELL FROM HART'S WAR:: *looks up from newspaper, and back to it, which features a computerised Tom doing a funky chicken dance*  
  
TOM:: Whoa, he looks awfully familiar ...  
  
GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE COLIN FARRELL FROM HART'S WAR:: Wow, I've never seen a criminal before. Have you?  
  
ANOTHER GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE COLIN FARRELL FROM DAREDEVIL:: Nope. Dude, is that John Anderton?  
  
STEVEN SPIELBERG:: What happened to Cameron Crowe and Cameron Diaz?!  
  
AUDIENCE:: Isn't it funny, they have the same name.  
  
  
  
SOMEWHERE OFF SET, IN AN EMPTY TRAILER.  
  
TWO CAMERONS:: Mmph! *they have tape on their mouths*  
  
  
  
INT. OF SUBWAY.  
  
GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE COLIN FARRELL FROM DAREDEVIL:: Maybe we should call the cops.  
  
TOM:: I am a cop!!  
  
GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE COLIN FARRELL FROM HART'S WAR:: Oh, so he is John Anderton.  
  
TOM:: Oops.  
  
AUDIENCE:: Get out of there John! Run!  
  
COLIN FANGIRL:: He'll never make it on those short legs.  
  
TOM:: *runs out but sees his old team heading for him* Eep.  
  
FLETCHER:: Let's go get him boys!  
  
RANDOM WOMAN:: And girls.  
  
FLETCHER:: Fine, fine, boys and girls.  
  
TOM:: *runs away screaming*  
  
AUDIENCE:: Now this is getting exciting.  
  
  
  
EXT. OF ALLEYWAY.  
  
TOM:: *stops at a dead end as his team come flying and land. One falls over.* Ooh, rough landing there Fletcher.  
  
FLETCHER:: I'll tell him to work on it.  
  
AUDIENCE:: Talk is cheap. Cut the crap and get to the action.  
  
FLETCHER:: Don't run Tom.  
  
TOM:: You don't have to chase me. Or is it everybody runs?  
  
FLETCHER:: It's everybody runs.  
  
AUDIENCE:: I get the feeling this tagline is gonna be repeated throughout the movie.  
  
TOM:: *does the most obvious thing ... runs*  
  
FLETCHER:: *does the second most obvious thing ... switches on his jet- pack*  
  
TOM:: Stop chasing me! We're friends, remember?  
  
FLETCHER:: Not anymore!  
  
TOM:: *climbs a ladder*  
  
AUDIENCE:: Stupid, they have jet-packs! They can fly! They're gonna getcha!  
  
TOM:: *Jet-Pack Guy leaps onto him* Argh! Noo! They've got me!  
  
  
  
INT. OF A BEDROOM. [A/N: Sorry, I love this bit, so I had to keep it in!]  
  
SAXOPHONE GUY:: *sits on his bed, playing his ... uh ... saxophone. I think.*  
  
TOM:: *bursts in with Jet-Pack Guy and crashes on the bed* This is not meant to be a gay scene by the way.  
  
SAXOPHONE GUY:: *nods his head vigorously*  
  
TOM:: Bye.  
  
SAXOPHONE GUY:: Can I have your autograph?  
  
TOM:: Sure! Anything for a fan. *grins*  
  
  
  
EXT. OF APARTMENT BUILDING  
  
TOM:: Everybody runs ... *crashes into car*  
  
COLIN:: *waves merrily from inside the car*  
  
COLIN FANGIRL:: And he's back!  
  
TOM:: *runs to the side of the car that Colin is sitting*  
  
AUDIENCE:: Bad move.  
  
COLIN:: *opens door and makes Tom fall over*  
  
AUDIENCE:: Told you so.  
  
COLIN FANGIRL:: Wow, he's so smart.  
  
TOM:: *runs into a conveniently located building nearby*  
  
STEVEN SPIELBERG:: It is not conveniently located. It just so happens to be a car factory near a residential area.  
  
COLIN:: *follows Tom inside*  
  
AUDIENCE:: Now it's gonna get exciting!! *ponder* How many times have we said that?? 


	5. Colin chases Tom

Title: Minority Report - The Remix  
  
Disclaimer: It's kinda obvious that I don't own any of the original characters ... they came from the wonderful Phillip K. Dick ... or Steven Spielberg.  
  
A/N: I swear, you reviewers [note how I say reviewers not readers, *cough*] are the BEST! You guys are so hilarious!! And you're right, spadesjade, I am having a lot of fun writing this fic and reading my feedback!  
  
*cough* And to The Phantom ... well, I'll just have to generate another appearance of TBN to keep you interested ... and Colin's "death"? Hmm, we'll see about that [I actually cried in the cinema when that happened, I was heartbroken!] .........................................  
  
INT. OF CAR FACTORY  
  
COLIN:: *searches for Tom, by running around and peeking through boxes*  
  
AUDIENCE:: We know he's small, but he's not that small to fit through that gap.  
  
COLIN:: Better to be safe then sorry. *runs around a bit more and gets his hair all messy*  
  
COLIN FANGIRLS:: *swoon*  
  
UNLUCKLY GUY WITH POPCORN:: *trips over girls* Aargh!  
  
GIDEON:: Hi. You may think I'm just a scary guy who looks after the criminals, but no, I happen to be one of Colin's henchmen too.  
  
TOM:: *comes up from behind him* Traitor! You're meant to be my friend!  
  
GIDEON:: And the lesson you learn today is ... you don't have friends. You're on the run.  
  
TOM:: Oh. True that.  
  
GIDEON:: *gets ready to blast Tom with his snazzy gun*  
  
TOM:: *beats the crap out of Gideon and takes his snazzy gun*  
  
GIDEON:: Oh, the Phantom isn't gonna be happy with you.  
  
TOM:: *blasts Gideon into next week with the gun*  
  
  
  
SOMETIME IN NEXT WEEK  
  
HART:: Whoa, what's that? *points to Gideon's legs sticking out of a swirly thing*  
  
BULLSEYE:: Looks like someone stuck in time.  
  
HART:: Should we get him out?  
  
BULLSEYE:: Nah.  
  
  
  
INT. OF CAR FACTORY  
  
TOM:: Wow, sometimes I underestimate my own strength.  
  
COLIN:: There you are!  
  
TOM:: Eep! *jumps onto a moving crane and gets swung onto a conveniently located moving platform*  
  
STEVEN SPIELBERG:: It is not conveniently located. This is a car factory, so there are many ... uh ... moving platforms and uh ... moving stuff ... uh ... around.  
  
AUDIENCE:: Does he ever do any research?  
  
COLIN:: *jumps up onto platform*  
  
COLIN FANGIRLS:: Wow, he's so fit.  
  
COLIN:: *wraps random necklace around his hand and kisses it*  
  
COLIN FANGIRL:: What the hell was that?  
  
COLIN:: *moves towards Tom, fists up*  
  
TOM:: *moves towards Colin, fists up*  
  
AUDIENCE:: Ooh, he's beating Tom pretty bad!  
  
COLIN FANGIRLS:: Go Colin! Whooo!  
  
AUDIENCE:: Ooh, Tom's fighting back!  
  
COLIN FANGIRLS:: Nooo!  
  
AUDIENCE:: Good left hook there!  
  
TOM:: *falls off*  
  
COLIN:: *jumps down and lands on top of him*  
  
AUDIENCE:: I swear, there are too many homophobic messages being sent out in this movie.  
  
COLIN FANGIRLS:: Ooh, he's winning, he's winning!  
  
TOM:: *strangles Colin*  
  
COLIN FANGIRLS:: Maybe not.  
  
COLIN:: *looks up and sees something vaguely scary, so grabs onto a moving arm and gets out*  
  
TOM:: Huh? *gets trapped inside*  
  
AUDIENCE:: Whoa! Is he dead?  
  
TOM FANGIRL:: Nooooo!  
  
COLIN FANGIRLS:: Yesss!!  
  
INT. OF SOMEWHERE ELSE INSIDE THE FACTORY  
  
COLIN:: *strolls along with his henchmen*  
  
HENCHMAN 1:: Uh boss, I uh, think he's dead.  
  
HENCHMAN 2:: Can we go grab a pizza?  
  
COLIN:: Never be too sure.  
  
HENCHMAN 2:: What, about the pizza?  
  
COLIN:: Never mind. *leans on the window and watches a car drive by*  
  
HENCHMAN 1:: Uh boss, is that the car?  
  
COLIN:: Quiet you fools.  
  
HENCHMAN 2:: It's a real pretty car.  
  
HENCHMAN 3:: Mmph mmph mmph.  
  
TOM:: *rises from the car and sticks his tongue out* Na na na na na!  
  
COLIN:: *hits his hand* Damn! *starts to run*  
  
HENCHMAN 1:: Uh look boss, he's inside the car!  
  
HENCHMAN 2:: How did he get in there?  
  
HENCHMAN 1:: I dunno.  
  
COLIN:: *runs after car, as it pulls out of the factory*  
  
TOM:: Wheeeeeeeee! Now I've got the cool car, all I need is ... uh ... some direction on what to do next ...  
  
COLIN:: I'm gonna get you Tom. *camera zooms close* Ow! *rubs head where camera hit him*  
  
AUDIENCE:: Wow, that scene was real good. Exactly what we wanted.  
  
STEVEN SPIELBERG:: I aim to please. What did the Colin fangirls think?  
  
COLIN FANGIRLS:: *barely breathing* 


	6. Tom meets Mad Dr Iris Hineman

Title: Minority Report - The Remix  
  
Disclaimer: It's kinda obvious that I don't own any of the original characters ... they came from the wonderful Phillip K. Dick ... or Steven Spielberg.  
  
A/N: Another chapter ... and another hilarious set of reviews!! Okay, so here goes:  
  
- Sirius, that homophobic comment wasn't related to you at all, I was thinking that there are an awful lot of those kinda messages being sent out with this film. Or maybe we'll all a little twisted. *shrugs*  
  
- Phantom, I'm glad that you're starting to like Colin now. I should change my name to "The Converter", mwahahaha. And yes, the necklace bit is random, but I read somewhere [in my "extensive" research of this film, otherwise known as Colin research] that his character is meant to be really religious, hence his rambling on in the "Temple". That's one theory though.  
  
By the by, I've only seen this movie once, so if I get a couple of scenes screwed up, forgive me.  
  
.........................................  
  
EXT. OF A CAR ZOOMING ALONG A CLEAR OPEN ROAD IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE  
  
TOM:: Wow, this is a nice car. *drives past a sign saying "Bates Motel - next right*  
  
AUDIENCE:: Damn.  
  
TOM:: *turns into another lane* Okay, so what am I doing here? *gets out of the car*  
  
IRIS HINEMAN:: Hi. I'm Dr. Iris Hineman.  
  
TOM:: Er ... do I know you?  
  
IRIS HINEMAN:: No but you will soon. This is the part where I explain to you all about the three pre-cogs, and you get a chance to see some of Steven's CGI.  
  
TOM:: *tries to sit down on a log but gets whipped by an ivy branch* Ow!  
  
IRIS HINEMAN:: Ooh, that's gonna hurt. Here, drink some tea.  
  
TOM:: I don't trust you.  
  
IRIS HINEMAN:: Good, now you're learning fast. Anyway, the pre-cogs were from mothers who took drugs.  
  
STEVEN SPIELBERG:: So don't take drugs kids. Or else your kids will turn out to be able to see murders in their dreams and save mankind.  
  
AUDIENCE:: Er ...  
  
IRIS HINEMAN:: So I decided to get rich by thinking up this nifty idea of pre-crime. Aren't I amazing?  
  
TOM:: I don't understand you.  
  
IRIS HINEMAN:: Don't worry, that was a rhetorical question.  
  
TOM:: Why am I here?  
  
IRIS HINEMAN:: *sighs* Okay, I'll make this straight. Sometimes the pre- cogs disagree with what they see. Two of them see one thing, the third see another. What the hell, democracy, so we go with the majority. Sometimes though the minority, the third pre-cog could be right. Go get the minority report.  
  
AUDIENCE:: Oh, now I see where the title came from.  
  
TOM:: So where is it?  
  
IRIS HINEMAN:: It's in the female of course.  
  
FEMALE AUDIENCE:: Cause we're the smarter sex.  
  
MALE AUDIENCE:: Did someone say sex?  
  
TOM:: Okay, so I just hack into her brain and get out the report and hey presto, I'm innocent?  
  
IRIS HINEMAN:: If only it were that easy.  
  
TOM:: *runs off*  
  
IRIS HINEMAN:: Wait you fool!  
  
TOM:: *screeches to a halt*  
  
IRIS HINEMAN:: Go get some new eyeballs.  
  
TOM:: What's wrong with mine? Aren't they pretty enough? *flutters eyelashes*  
  
IRIS HINEMAN:: If you walk around D.C with those baby blues, you're gonna get ID.ed.  
  
TOM:: Huh?  
  
IRIS HINEMAN:: *get pissed off* They'll be able to trace you wherever you go!  
  
TOM:: Oooh!  
  
IRIS HINEMAN:: So go to this address *gives him piece of paper* and get some new eyeballs, okay?  
  
TOM:: Will do.  
  
  
  
INT. PRE-CRIME DEPARTMENT  
  
COLIN:: I've just been to see Lara, Tom's wife.  
  
AUDIENCE:: Really? When?  
  
COLIN:: The author doesn't want to include pointless scenes in this fic.  
  
AUDIENCE:: Fine by us.  
  
COLIN:: Well, moving swiftly on ...  
  
JED:: Should we watch the video thing again?  
  
COLIN:: Let's go for it. *dons on Tom's funky gloves and dims the lights*  
  
JED:: Music?  
  
COLIN:: No need - I'm deep enough already.  
  
COLIN FANGIRLS:: *sigh* Not gonna say no to that.  
  
COLIN:: *watches video and does some impressive hand movements* Aha!  
  
JED:: What?  
  
COLIN:: What does that look like to you?  
  
JED:: A blur?  
  
COLIN:: Sorry, let me zoom in a little more. Now what?  
  
JED:: A sharpened blur?  
  
COLIN:: How 'bout you, Fletcher?  
  
FLETCHER:: I dunno.  
  
COLIN:: Can anyone guess what this is?  
  
GIDEON:: I do! I do! Pick me! Pick me! *puts his hand up in the air*  
  
COLIN:: Anyone?  
  
GIDEON:: Me! Me! Me!  
  
COLIN:: Fine. Gideon. Enlighten us.  
  
GIDEON:: It's Agatha!  
  
FLETCHER:: No!  
  
GIDEON:: Yes!  
  
JED:: Still looks like a blur to me.  
  
COLIN:: Well done kiddies. Now then, let's put our brains together and think. Well, those who have brains. Agatha is with Tom when he shoots Crow. Therefore ... she's already a part of this.  
  
JED:: So?  
  
COLIN:: He's coming here to get her. 


	7. Tom and his eyeballs

Title: Minority Report - The Remix  
  
Disclaimer: It's kinda obvious that I don't own any of the original characters ... they came from the wonderful Phillip K. Dick ... or Steven Spielberg.  
  
A/N: I am aware that I've got the scenes in the wrong sequence, so no need to remind me. And I'm very sorry that I haven't updated for so long ... but thanks for reading anyway! The Recruit is coming out soon! Yay! I'm gonna see how many more cameos I can fit in ... eheh.  
  
.........................................  
  
INT. PRE-CRIME DEPARTMENT  
  
COLIN:: *twiddles a random ball, and begins to juggle* Now, all we need to do is wait for Tom to come to us.  
  
JED:: Why don't we just go out there and get him?  
  
FLETCHER:: But that's like looking for a haystack in a needle!  
  
COLIN:: It's needle in a haystack you dimwit.  
  
FLETCHER:: Oh.  
  
COLIN:: No, we already tried to look for him, and that didn't work. *carries on juggling oh-so-skilfully but accidentally drops a ball. It rolls to a photo frame*  
  
JED:: I'm hungry.  
  
COLIN:: *inspects photo of Tom and his wife* Okay fine, take out your heat detector spiders and go and look for Tom.  
  
FLETCHER:: Whoo! *leaves with Jed*  
  
COLIN:: Hmmm. *strokes some stubble*  
  
COLIN FANGIRLS:: *drool*  
  
AUDIENCE:: Here we go again.  
  
**FLASHBACK**  
  
EXT. OF AN ORDINARY HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE  
  
AUDIENCE:: Dude, if this is what the future looks like, then we're in it already. Doesn't Steven have any imagination?  
  
STEVEN SPIELBERG:: I didn't want to copy the Fifth Element.  
  
LARA:: Hi, I'm Lara. I'm Tom's wife.  
  
TOM FANGIRL:: Die evil, die!!  
  
LARA:: Would you like some coffee?  
  
COLIN:: Yes, one sugar please.  
  
LARA:: *wanders off*  
  
COLIN:: So your husband is a neurotic psychopath who needs to be captured, right?  
  
LARA:: No. I don't like you. And I don't have any sugar.  
  
COLIN:: Damn, nothing for my sweet tooth?  
  
COLIN FANGIRLS:: *race to the shops to buy chocolate*  
  
LARA:: You scare me. Are you trying to make a move on me?  
  
COLIN FANGIRLS:: As if he would.  
  
COLIN:: No, I'd upset all the fangirls if I ever got a love interest.  
  
LARA:: I divorced Tom not because he was a neurotic twisted psychopath who lost our son, but because I'm the neurotic twisted psychopath.  
  
COLIN:: That's okay, it's not like I needed a reason to arrest Tom anyway. Bye.  
  
AUDIENCE:: ???  
  
**END OF FLASHBACK**  
  
INT. OF A GRUNGY LOOKING APARTMENT  
  
TOM:: Hello, anyone there?  
  
DR. SOLOMON:: Hello. I am Dr. Solomon, the eye doctor. I am here to give you new eyeballs.  
  
TOM:: Uh, thanks pal.  
  
GIDEON:: And I am his helpful assistant.  
  
TOM:: Dude! Go away! Stop following me!  
  
GIDEON:: Don't be so full of yourself. Huh, as if I'd follow you.  
  
DR. SOLOMON:: Enough chitter-chatter. I shall now take you through the procedure of this operation. Basically, I shall strap you down to this chair, and you will be sung to sleep by Gideon's rendition of "A Random Swedish Song". Then, these little metal things will pry out your eyeball completely, and I shall replace them with some eyes that belonged to a now blind man wandering around Washington with $50 in his wallet. It's as simple as that.  
  
TOM:: What are you going to do with my eyeballs?  
  
DR. SOLOMON:: Throw them away probably. Or transfer them into some unsuspecting person. Why?  
  
TOM:: I'd like to keep them.  
  
DR. SOLOMON:: Why?  
  
TOM:: Because my mother gave them to me.  
  
TOM FANGIRL:: Aw.  
  
AUDIENCE:: Was that an attempt at a joke?  
  
COLIN FANGIRLS:: Colin could do it better. And sexier.  
  
GIDEON:: *sings "A Random Swedish Song"*  
  
TOM:: *screams drowned out by Gideon's singing*  
  
A COUPLE OF HOURS LATER  
  
DR. SOLOMON:: Okay, we're all done here. Make yourself at home - bathroom's that way, kitchen's that way. Leave the bandage on for 24 hours and remember - never scratch!  
  
TOM:: *really itchy* That's helpful. I think I'll just go to sleep.  
  
GIDEON:: Good boy. *sets a little timer on the table*  
  
TOM:: *snores*  
  
TOM FANGIRL:: Aw, he's so cute when he sleeps.  
  
COLIN FANGIRLS:: Colin would be sexier.  
  
ORLANDO BLOOM FANGIRLS:: Orlando would be sexier.  
  
TOM:: Where did that come from?  
  
ORLANDO BLOOM:: *shrugs*  
  
TOM:: Fine, I'm going back to sleep then. *sleeps for a while*  
  
AUDIENCE:: Ooh, is that drool I see?  
  
TOM:: Oh my god, drool? Where? *lifts a mirror, but forgets that he has a bandage* Dang.  
  
  
  
EXT. OF GRUNGY APARTMENT BUILDING  
  
FLETCHER:: Okay guys, let's go and find Tom! Unleash the spiders!  
  
RANDOM HENCHMAN:: *opens a box and 5.5 million metallic spiders come out*  
  
RANDOM HENCHWOMAN:: Okay, I've got the heat detector going ...  
  
COLIN:: How's it going guys? Found him yet?  
  
FLETCHER:: Hey, this is meant to be my scene!  
  
COLIN:: Who says?  
  
FLETCHER:: Er ... er ... Steven?  
  
STTEVEN SPIELBERG:: *polishing his Oscar* Hey don't look at me buddy.  
  
FLETCHER:: Dammit you're stealing my thunder!  
  
COLIN:: *says nothing but gives a smirk*  
  
COLIN FANGIRLS:: *pass out*  
  
COLIN:: *chews some gum*  
  
AUDIENCE:: Hey, what's happening with Tom?  
  
OH ALMIGHTY ONE [the author, as she would like to be known from now on]:: Oops, forgot about him, sorry.  
  
INT. OF A GRUNGY LOOKING APARTMENT  
  
TOM:: Oh no, heat detecting spiders are coming. I must drown myself in a bathtub of icy cold water. *runs to bathroom*  
  
TOM FANGIRL:: Why?  
  
OTHER TOM FANGIRL:: Who cares, he's getting wet!  
  
GIDEON:: So that his body temperature will be lowered and the spiders won't detect him. Duh.  
  
AUDIENCE:: Smart ass.  
  
TOM:: Blub.  
  
SPIDER #1:: *enters bathroom* Nothing here boys. *leaves bathroom*  
  
AUDIENCE:: It speaks!!  
  
TOM:: *sneezes ... underwater*  
  
SPIDER #1:: Bless you.  
  
AUDIENCE:: *blink*  
  
SPIDER #1:: *double take* Boys!! He's in here!  
  
TOM:: Blub blub. 


	8. Tom gets Agatha

Title: Minority Report - The Remix  
  
Disclaimer: It's kinda obvious that I don't own any of the original characters ... they came from the wonderful Phillip K. Dick ... or Steven Spielberg.  
  
A/N: Hoorah, people are still reading-n-reviewing this fic! Wow. Good stuff guys.  
  
..........................................  
  
TOM:: Blub blub.  
  
COLIN FANGIRLS:: And that translates as ...?  
  
TOM:: I'm a celebrity, get me out of here?  
  
SPIDERS:: Hoo yes! He's in here, he really is!  
  
TOM:: Meep.  
  
SPIDERS:: *wander over to Tom and start electrocuting him*  
  
TOM:: Okay, okay, sheesh! You could just ask nicely y'know!  
  
MEANWHILE DOWNSTAIRS ...  
  
FLETCH:: Hey, looks like the big cat re-appeared again.  
  
HENCHMAN:: Huh?  
  
FLETCH:: Y'know the one which we thought slipped out when in actual fact it was Tom dunking himself in water. We should go and check it out. *wander upstairs*  
  
AUDIENCE:: Okaaaay.  
  
INT. OF DINGY BATHROOM  
  
SPIDER:: Fine then - can you please lift your bandage so we can ID you?  
  
TOM:: Sure! *lifts bandage and winces a little*  
  
SPIDER:: Scanning retina ...  
  
TOM:: Could you hurry it up a little? It's starting to go a funny colour. I'm not supposed to lift the bandage up anyway.  
  
SPIDER:: Sorry, all done. Let's go boys. *tootles off*  
  
LITTLE SPIDER:: Can I have your autograph?  
  
TOM:: Sure! *signs ... something*  
  
DOWNSTAIRS  
  
FLETCH:: Dang, it wasn't him.  
  
COLIN:: Tough luck then. *chews gum*  
  
COLIN FANGIRLS:: *swoon*  
  
EXT. OF VERY BIG IMPORTANT BUILDING  
  
KIDS:: Oh look, it's a creepy statue!  
  
TEACHER:: That is the statue of the three pre-cogs. They're amazing, aren't they?  
  
ONE SMART A - CHILD:: Yes, look at the smooth contour lines of this statue, and the unusual use of the metals titanium and bronze mixed together and the lack of any detail whatsoever so the statue resembles three blobs ...  
  
AUDIENCE:: Always get one everywhere ...  
  
TEACHER:: Uh, I meant the pre-cogs.  
  
KIDS:: Ooh, can we go see them? Can we, can we?  
  
TEACHER:: Nuh-uh, they need to work very hard 24 hours a day, we shouldn't disturb them.  
  
TOM:: Tweedley, no one can see me behind this. *he's right, no one does.* Now, then ... *gets out the weird metal contraption* So, I put this to my forehead, right?  
  
GIDEON:: No, under your chin. Look. *takes it off Tom and demonstrates on himself* See? It piles on the years on your face!  
  
TOM:: Nice look there. Might not work for me, I just got Botox-ed yesterday.  
  
GIDEON:: Just do it.  
  
TOM:: Okay then. *sticks thing under chin* OUCH!  
  
GIDEON:: Sssh, do you want everyone to hear you?  
  
TOM:: Sorry ... wait, why are you helping me? *Gideon has gone* Hello? I'm all alone ...  
  
TOM FANGIRL:: Aw, poor baby!  
  
TOM:: *wanders off to a conveniently located back door*  
  
STEVEN SPIELBERG:: It is not conveniently located. Buildings have doors. That is a building he just went into via a door.  
  
AUDIENCE:: Yeah, whatever. Man the security sure is slack.  
  
INT. OF VERY BIG IMPORTANT BUILDING  
  
TOM:: Need to get eyeballs out ... *rummages around in plastic bag*  
  
GIRLS:: Eeeew! Gross!  
  
BOYS:: Whoa, far out! Eyeballs rock!  
  
TOM:: Oops! Clumsy little me! *eyeballs fall out of packet start running ... no, bouncing away from him*  
  
AUDIENCE:: They don't seem to be very attached to him.  
  
TOM:: Gotcha! *grabs the remaining eyeball just before it falls into a conveniently located drain mesh*  
  
STEVEN SPIELBERG:: It isn't ... ah what the heck, I need to have a word with my location managers.  
  
TOM:: Let's get ready to go inside my pretty!  
  
EYEBALL:: *whimpers* Why do I feel so used?  
  
TOM:: *machine beeps and lets him through* Hey whaddya know, it worked! My plan worked!  
  
DR. SOLOMON:: It was my plan actually. Why do you think I gave you that metal contraption thing to make you look older? Hmmm?  
  
TOM:: Oh be quiet. *goes inside*  
  
INT. OF TEMPLE  
  
WALLY:: Hey, unauthorised access! Not allowed in here!  
  
TOM:: I've always liked you ...  
  
WALLY:: Nu-uh! Unauthorised access! No strangers allowed in here!  
  
TOM:: *coughs* I've always liked you Wally ...  
  
WALLY:: Go away! Before I ring the alarm!  
  
TOM:: It's me you idiot!  
  
WALLY:: Tom? Wow, being a fugitive has really changed you!  
  
INT. OF OFFICE UPSTAIRS  
  
FLETCH:: Hey, who's that weird old man in the Temple?  
  
JED:: Must be Wally's uncle.  
  
COLIN:: No, it's Tom! *tries to use doors*  
  
INT. OF TEMPLE  
  
TOM:: *closes the doors* I need Agatha.  
  
WALLY:: *smug* Well, don't we all.  
  
AGATHA:: Take me away from him!! Now!  
  
TOM:: Okay sweetie. *hops into pool*  
  
COLIN:: *smashes window and jumps down* Not so fast pal! You're going nowhere!  
  
COLIN FANGIRLS:: Wow, he's so resourceful!  
  
COLIN:: *flips fringe in slo-mo* Well, I am amazing. Yes adore me, I'm used to it.  
  
TOM:: You've stolen my limelight for too long Colin! *pulls plug*  
  
AGATHA:: Hey, cool slide! Wheeeeeee! *both get flushed down the slide*  
  
COLIN:: Where is he taking her, Wally, tell me now!  
  
WALLY:: He took my Aggie! Nooo!  
  
COLIN:: What's happening to the other pre-cogs?  
  
WALLY:: My Aggie, my Aggie! *wails*  
  
GIDEON:: Since Wally is in no mood to enlighten us, allow me. Since Agatha or "Aggie" is the strongest female, the twins cannot see anything without her. If it was one of the twins Tom took, then that'd be fine, but without Agatha, they can't make any freaky premonitions.  
  
COLIN:: Which means if someone is killed before Agatha is returned no one will ever know!  
  
GIDEON:: How's that for some irony? 


End file.
